If I didn’t know better, I would think it was a plan…or a trick. It seems such a brilliant grift; flood the national conversation with garbage, the streets with guns, the food with sugar, the medicine with narcotics, the software with spies, the banks with freebooters, and the minds of children with global apocalypse—then tell them convenient solutions to their beautiful problems are available, directly from you, at reasonable prices, sign here.
Really tired of grown ups on TV surprised that an IT technician has access to IT resources, which means access to everything, everywhere, all at once. Have you sneaky hackeretti convinced everyone you’re really only about corn chips, first person shooters, and porn? Well done ya fux, well done.
Maybe we need a moratorium on pin-head reporting rather than engineering efforts.
Don’t get me wrong about celery either; like some in my BM thank you very much, and in the macaroni salad—mirepoix for crying’ out loud.
Negative Information Calories
Y’know how the calories you need to eat a stalk of raw celery are more calories than the celery itself provides you by eating it? Some content is like that when I think about it. For me, Twitter was like sooo much celery. This is a weird metaphor, but true kinda.
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Whatz you need? Diamonds…hnuh…powdered milk? I get it for you. BRIDE? I get it.
You’re just saying white things.
If in city I get it for you…popcornz, bleachez, nurse…
Stop. No, not you, keep walking…
…shark tooth…cueball…marzshmallow…
…mini-marzshmallow…albino monkey…Betty!…I get it.
…talcum…smash potato…polarz bear…crisco…
…mayonaisez…shaves cream…little bent bit o' plastic spork…
| Results of the Survey | |
|---|---|
| 62% | claim to be in the minority |
| 19% | claim the survey does not in fact exist |
| 17% | claim to be in the majority |
| 4% | claim to be why the results ≠ 100% |
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The single biggest issue facing people today is urgent over-generalization! Wake up, man!
The only way to fix it is with platitudes! Let’s go!
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Six of One, Half Dozen of an Other
Hitting me in the heart with your words is equal to me hitting you in the head with my stick. Six of one…
No—that’s half of one to six dozen of an other, i.e. gross…a gross…aha, a ha ha ha. Ahem—it’s not the same. You’re mistaking the inside for the outside, you see?
Twice — Once Again
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